How many of you are “stay at home” mothers? (I put stay at home in quotes because those of us who are or have been SAHMs know that we are rarely home and when we are we are flat out.) And how many of you, because of your choice to be home with your kids, feel that your work at home is not recognized when you are asked to do additional carpool duty, free babysitting, errand running, etc.? It’s happened to all of us, I am sure, with varying degrees of success.
Here’s the thing…….you should never feel guilty about saying no (more on that in a minute) because all Mothers’ Time Matters. That’s the theme of this year’s first ever Mothers and More Online Expo. I have been a member of Mothers and More for 18 years and even now with my son becoming an adult, I get more wisdom and support and feedback from my chapter that I think I am likely to stick around until we start our Grandma’s Subgroup!
I have been chatting about this Expo and you can learn more about the Keynote Speakers, Demonstrations and Giveaways here. The Expo promises to show you ways in which you can make your time matter more for the things you want to invest in and how to take time for yourself to refresh and replenish your own resources. You will learn about finding your path, raising thoughtful communicators in this digital world, all about blogging for fun or profit, mastering money, finding flexible paid work and much more.
As moms – and anyone who gives anything their all – we need to remember that it is imperative that we put out own oxygen masks on first because if we aren’t capable of taking care of ourselves, we won’t be capable of taking care of anything or anyone else. So, yes, our time matters and we need to be sure that we set boundaries and goals around how we spend our time and be sure that as much as we care for others we make sure our own needs and interests are high on the list.
So about feeling guilty about saying no – here’s a great way for you to put a request to the test. When someone asks you to do something that falls outside of what you deem to be reasonable or fair or respectful of YOUR time, reframe the request as if the person has asked you to do it TODAY. If their request would pass the “gotta do it now” test then it’s likely that you find it the sort of favor that would be acceptable in any circumstance. So if someone approaches you and says that they are short on cookies for the bake sale Thursday and “since you are home” they are wondering if they can can count on you for a few extra dozen, ask yourself if that request is important enough to you that you would find a way to do it today. If they answer is yes then you can add it without question. If not, then you can politely decline and say that your schedule is already accounted for and perhaps someone else can fill the bill. Putting some immediacy in the equation allows you to make a fast assessment of the validity and value of the request. And when you cut right through the “ifs” then you can move on without guilt for saying no OR yes.
See you at the Expo!